Towards the heart of the spiritual life.
Ordinary Sunday 18: August 6, 2000
The Vicar, Dr John Davis, after his return from retreat in the United States.
Sometimes it is necessary to get away from what you normally do and how you normally do it to a place where it is possible to receive, to experience, to reflect. When that is in the context of the things of God and with that intention, that is called a retreat. It can be very refreshing and even life changing. It can bring into focus the most basic of priorities. It may be the time when there develops a sharply renewed sense of call and of the wonder of the love of God.
I want to give thanks for this sort of experience in the time that I have been away. I was not really expecting it. My time was divided between two weeks of holiday and two weeks of participation in a summer school offering by the ecumenical Graduate Theological Union at Berkeley, California, called "Pray like a Mystic". With the encouragement of our bishop, this was my choice this year for the continuing education component that our diocese encourages each of its clergy to participate in each year. In these comments, I will be concentrating on the course time, though naturally I was pleased to have a holiday break as well.
There were two leading the course: one a Dominican priest; the other a Jesuit -trained lay Episcopalian woman. Starting with Antony of Egypt in the 3rd and 4th century, we came right down to Thomas Merton and Mother Teresa in the late 20th. Each day saw introduced the life, the teachings and the prayer practice of two inspiring Christians. Each day included two periods of individual prayer, trying out as it were the particular insights and methods that that particular person had taught. Each day included small group reflection and sharing of the developing experience and discussion about what seemed to work and what did not. The cumulative effect of all this was most powerful.
The material was largely considered in chronological sequence. But that did not necessarily imply that the prayer of a millennium ago was therefore inferior to a differently developed form of contemplation, for instance, from our own time. So one session was focussed, for instance, on the development of the use of the Jesus Prayer. Each session introduced another approach. The Benedictine Lectio Divina tradition, by way of example, concentrates on extracts and readings, particularly of the Scriptures. There is very simple centring prayer - one word, or one quality; for example peace, or an icon or an image. There is contemplative prayer, beyond any image or specific focus. There are patterns of prayer that follow a particular reflective process. So it went on so many different ways of coming to God or of allowing God to come to us.
Some ways clearly work better than others, for any particular individual. It is a matter of exploration and individual discernment. The actual area of exploration is the Christian spiritual life. The goal is God. A key wisdom is an awareness of the difference between attempting to know all about God, and attempting to know God. It is humbling and different than much that we normally engage in.
There is no doubt that entering into different ways of prayer requires effort, work and openness. We were attempting to discern which and whatever way Christ was calling us: how best the connections might be made. But first we actually had to be there, in that space where that is even possible.
One of the comments right at the beginning has stayed with me. What might the experience of so many of us in our religious journey be likened to? Fr Luke said the religious experience can be like going to a symphony concert with friends, but wearing a blindfold and ear muffs. We do have an experience of what a symphony concert is. But what if we are encouraged to take off either or both of the ear muffs and the blindfold? The experience then of what a concert is, is immensely different. But the change is in us - not in the hall or the friends or the music. They remain a constant. We have in ourselves the potential for change and growth, and consequently for a fuller enjoyment of all that is on offer.
Another useful reminder also given right at the beginning of the course was that we all actually exist simultaneously in four time zones. They are all at work on us and having their impact.
There is mechanical time - the particular time of day
There is psychological time - our particular disposition and approach, how we are feeling.
There is intellectual time - how we have been formed, how we are thinking.
There is the time of grace, of receiving God's gifts, where God is working.
All of this together is of one piece. Each aspect needs to be respected, acknowledged and taken into account.
It is probably true though to say that the whole thrust of the course could be summed up in a quotation from St John of the Cross:
You and I are made in love for love.
And, as St Catherine of Sienna developed it,
Every special experience of God will make me more loving.
This is heady stuff. The scarcely tapped richness of the tradition we all share can be almost overwhelming.
After the initial presentation of background and information and an introduction into the particular approach to prayer of the individual concerned, there was then small group reflection. Later, there was the further opportunity to share in the larger group. In the first week this involved 40 people, in the second 17. You could understand that quite remarkable things could be possible in such a context - and they were. There was a considerable range of age and life-experience and temperament in the participants. Some parts of the tradition were clearly going to be more accessible to some than to others.
At the heart of all of this was prayer - communication with God, finding oneself in the presence of God, spiritual connecting. This was very powerful indeed. We were re-introduced to some old friends, spiritually speaking, and also met some new ones. All of them pointed to God and God's love however experienced, and the things of life that flow from that growing awareness. It was something I personally needed to hear and again to experience. It is something I would wish to share.
Somewhere in here there is something of immense importance. Individuals fall down, communities fall apart when there is no connectedness. This can often be evidenced in a whole lot of small things - very difficult adequately to put our finger on. But there may simply be an unease or a dissatisfaction. This can develop to irritation or even open breach. We can be talking here both of things spiritual and of things very human.
Our general confession speaks of both the things we have done and the things we have left undone. In our human weakness, we do not always do what we should or in the way that we should. We fall short. You may do this. I certainly do this. For that I am profoundly sorry. We need to always seek to make amends and to try not to repeat the pattern. There may be extenuating circumstances, but the fact remains that even though all is never perfect, sometimes things are even less perfect. A point that each of us can so easily forget, is that it is really often the seemingly very little things that are of great importance.
It is here that a willingness and a desire to find the best in each other, for the sake of what we share, can come into play. It is here that we can be encouraged to take yet another deep breath and say, yes: with God's grace and in God's love these things can be done, these difficulties can be addressed and overcome, these human weaknesses and shortcomings can be placed into a broader context. If that is really what is wanted, that is what can happen.
So I return to this idea of connectedness. This is far more fundamental than much argued fine points of doctrine or indeed so many of the seemingly important issues that have occupied church people's attention through so many centuries.
The fact is that also through all these centuries God has always been; certain of the people of God have always been there, encouraging and inspiring, above and beyond all the pettiness and disappointments. While some have lost their way, others have truly found it. These gifts and graces are ever available. But we have some choices to make, some priorities to reconsider, some amends to make. This is a constant thing in the spiritual life. Now is no exception.
There are two parts to this. The first is connectedness, a growing, developing connectedness, with God - however expressed. The second is connectedness, a growing or restorative connectedness, with each other. This includes the taking of a renewed trouble and effort to work at this association, this relationship, in the context of the love we share in Christ.
There is a deep nexus, a deep bond between these two parts. An open, reaching search in the spiritual life towards that God who already reaches out to us in love, is at the centre of things. From this flows, however tentatively, a discernment for us of the way of God for us, or even more basically, the fact of God for us. From that flows a changed way of dealing with each other and in a changed way of how we want to deal with each other.
So if you like, we have here a variation on the Lord's well-loved summary of the two great commandments. There can be a growing awareness and experience of the love of God that is possible for us in the life of individual prayer. We are able to be so richly encouraged by many that have already travelled this way, like the various saints I have been reintroduced to this last month. But there is the other side to this. A deepening relationship and connectedness with God however experienced, must also find its expression in a growing awareness and expression of care and love for each other. Neither aspect is easy or without struggle. Each will bring many blessings. One flows from the other.
This is not in the least bit new. It just needs to be heard and received again and again.
Here is a profound challenge. I have been reminded again that there is a great gift on offer, far greater than we can in any sense earn. This is truly a pearl of great price, truly that treasure in the field. And yes, truly, we have these treasures in earthen vessels.
Away from the constant daily pressures, this was an awareness that I was able to receive in the context of this retreat- like situation for two weeks. This was, if you like, the discernment that was offered. Perhaps there are some similarities here with the sharp glimpse of awareness that the disciples felt on the mount of Transfiguration. But they could not stay there or keep it there.
That is not however the real world. The real world is in the here and now, where we are together. So my personal task and challenge is to try to bring that insight back into all that is involved in my normal round and to put it into effect as best as possible. I will try. But the circumstances are not easy. Are they ever? I think again of the truth of that observation about the four simultaneous interacting time zones within which we operate. They bump up against each other. Pressures from one may threaten to crowd out the good intentions in another. But I am convinced that together, with God's grace, we can actually experience some surprises. It depends on goodwill and good grace.
So on this feast of Dedication, when we remember and give thanks for the founding generation who gave so much and worked so hard to establish this city church, we have much to consider, much to value, some to improve. In this generation we have here people with so many and varied gifts and temperaments, so much to offer, so much to share, so much to receive. We give thanks for that. And we look forward to even better in the year to come.
"'Tis good Lord to be here."
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